Tsahaylu
by Jerathai
Summary: Why in the world would the Omaticaya Clan's next Tsahik take a man she had tried to kill on first sight as a mate? What could cause her to make such an unbelievable choice? What was she thinking? Movie scene from Neytiri's POV.


_Eywa help me, I must be insane!_ Neytiri thought, even as she led Jake, laughing, through the bioluminescent night. They ran over mossy tree roots as surely as if they were running on solid ground, leaving a glowing phosphorescent trail.

She slowed to a walk as she approached her destination, the Tree of Voices; _utral aymokria_. Her whole body thrilled unexpectedly for a moment when she felt Jake catch the end of her tail. Neytiri whipped it easily out of his grasp and whirled to see playful laughter in his golden eyes. She didn't dare stare into those eyes too long. Turning away, she held her arms out to her sides as they arrived at the Tree's canopy, lovingly caressing the willow-like strands to announce her presence. The future Tsahik stopped and gently brought the end of her queue into contact with a slim strand while explaining the Tree to Jake. _Eywa help me, answer my prayers! I don't know what to do!_ she pleaded silently to the whispering voices. As before, they gave her no answer.

When no help was offered, Neytiri had no choice but to fall back on the one ever-present guide in her life; her duty. She was to be Tsahik; she was also tasked as Jake's teacher. She had information he needed, regardless of the fact that it touched her far too deeply for comfort. She put per palms to Jake's chest briefly. "You are Omaticaya now. You may make your bow from the wood of Hometree." Neytiri turned away from Jake's wondering face, those eyes that disturbed her so. She tried with all her strength to sound matter-of-fact. "And you may choose a woman." An atokirina came floating down to her and she put up her hands for it to alight on, desperately trying to pull strength from it. "We have many fine women. Ninat is the best singer." _Oh Eywa, my heart is bleeding!_

Since her back was turned to him she didn't see the twinkle that passed through Jake's eyes as he replied "I don't want Ninat." Neytiri's heart stopped bleeding and started soaring. She blew out her breath in a gentle puff of thanks to the woodsprite, to send it dancing on its way. _Duty,_ she reminded herself. Jake was a good man, honest and innocent – how well she knew that! He deserved a good woman, one who would See past his differences to his strong heart. "Beyral is a good hunter."

Her own heart almost stopped when he agreed "She is a good hunter." Neytiri whirled to face him. Caught. Her body had betrayed what her voice had not had the courage to speak. Jake looked into her face with the golden eyes she felt she could fall into all too easily. "I've already chosen. But this woman must also choose me." He left no doubt as to whom he had chosen.

Recognition blasted through her like a downdraft from Seze's wings at his words. Jake himself, all unknowing, had given her the answer she had so desperately sought. The reason for her long discontent was instantly made clear. _This woman must also choose me._ No one had ever asked her what _her_ wishes were, before.

When it had become clear, years ago, that Tsu'tey was going to be the finest warrior of his generation and had been acknowledged as the next Olo'eyctan, Neytiri had been promised him as mate without a thought, without consulting her, as a _fait accompli._ Olo'eyctan and Tsahik were always mates after all, and there was no doubt in anyone's mind that she would be the next Tsahik when her mother went to Eywa. Still, it had rankled. Tsu'tey's attitude had rankled even more. He was always properly respectful to her, of course. But he had walked among his male peers arrogantly, as if she were a possession, a mark of his status. Not a person. Not a woman. _I want a man who Sees me as a woman, not a prize bow!_

Two men stood before her mind's eye. Only one respected her right to choose for herself. The choice – was no choice at all. Her own eyes grew soft and luminous. "She already has."

Her body started trembling as he hesitantly leaned his face in towards hers. Neytiri responded in kind, touching the bridge of her nose to his. Her eyes closed reflexively, and she shifted to rub her cheek against his. Jake kissed the side of her face tentatively. The touch ignited a fire inside her and she turned her mouth to him. Their lips met in their first kiss. His hands came up and gently cupped her cheeks; she had to put her hands on him in return. When the kiss was over she pulled back a bit and looked at him with shining eyes. "Kissing is good, but we have something better."

She slowly knelt, pulling on his shoulders gently until they were both on their knees on the soft moss. As she reached behind her for her queue, a small voice in her mind was screaming _What are you doing?!_ Her resolve was firm now; she answered _If this is not supposed to be, then Eywa herself will prevent it._ The voice went silent; it was true. If two who were not suited for each other could not See that and made tsahaylu, Eywa would show them through the link what a disaster mating each other would make of their lives. The powerful negative experience would permanently keep the two apart, as the result of a tsahaylu bond lasted an entire lifetime.

Neytiri offered the exposed tendrils of her queue with a trembling hand. Her entire body felt afire with anticipation. Jake slowly reached for his own queue and extended it just as tentatively. Her hand moved forward and she touched the end of her nerves to his.

Both of them gasped and then reeled with the impact of connecting their sensory nervous systems to each other. Neytiri's mind momentarily flashed on a memory of her mother.

It was Mo'at's duty as Tsahik to teach the young women of the tribe when they came of age. "You have all made tsahaylu with our younger brothers and sisters in Eywa" she stated, referring to the animals with whom the Na'vi shared their lives. "You will find that making tsahaylu with a man is the same, and also very different." The dozen or so young women before her all shivered. Mo'at said comfortingly, "All of you have started your cycles; there is no reason why a man may not choose you as a mate. If you accept his choice (Neytiri remembered a vague dissatisfaction at those words) then the two of you will travel to one of the Sacred Trees so that you may make tsahaylu together before Eywa." Mo'at had looked around at the members of her audience. Most of the young women had been excited and nervous. Her daughter was the only exception; the slight frown on her face had given Mo'at a momentary sense of unease, but she'd continued with the familiar lecture.

"You will sense your man's body physically, just as you have experienced the body-awareness of the pa'li, or the ikran. He will sense yours in the same way. You will feel his emotions, his desires. You will sense his Heart and his Spirit, and he yours. Eywa will guide the two of you in your awareness of each other. When your senses are full, Eywa will send the two of you into sleep. While you sleep, she will send you true dreams of what your future will hold if you should complete the mating. When you awaken, these dreams will guide you. If they bring you joy, you will know that you have chosen well. If not, you will be unable to complete the mating; your queues will separate and refuse to join again." She'd smiled comfortingly at her audience, "but I doubt that that will happen for any of you. When your mating is complete, the two of you will return to Hometree and choose a space of your own to live together in."

Her mother's words were a flash in her mind and then were gone, drowned out by her shocking and immediate awareness of Jake. It was as her mother had said; she felt his physicality as she had felt Seze's so many times. In that, at least, she was on familiar ground. But that was where familiar ground ended. Jake was no simple ikran; he was a man, with a man's desires. Desires that her own body was responding to, will-she nil-she, with a power that she had never experienced before.

There was more to her awareness of Jake than just his body. Neytiri wrenched her focus around with an effort and found him – resisting? Curiosity arose in her, subduing the body-need momentarily. She reached out through this new and wonderful bond and touched his emotions to See what was troubling him.

What she found silenced the small voice inside her. Jake was resisting – himself. She Touched his struggling heart with her awareness, connecting to it so that she could See – and tears started flowing from her eyes. Jake loved her. With all his heart. Passionately. That very passion had him frightened. Frightened that his lack of knowledge, of understanding, would cause him to err and drive her away. Terrified that his very desire might scare her off. He knew that he was _dreamwalker, _not Na'vi, and that both their peoples viewed this as very wrong. But most of all, the greatest fear in his heart was that upon Seeing him, she would change her Choice.

Neytiri smiled through her tears as she felt her own heart open. Jake was losing his battle against the onslaught of sensations. His first tsahaylu with the old pa'li mare had been barely more than two months ago; he did not have the years' long experience with managing bondings that she had. That her body's desires mirrored his was too much for his nascent ability at control. Neytiri gathered Jake into her arms and pressed her mouth to his, drawing his body down to lie with her on the soft moss while she enveloped his feelings with hers to show him that there was no need for this struggle at all.

She was floating. Then she Saw. She and Jake were laughing, running through the branches of a Tree that she did not recognize. He kept trying to catch her tail, playfully, and she was teasing him by letting him get closer and closer, then snatching it out of reach just as he grabbed for it. She finally let him catch her; they embraced joyfully and shared a passionate kiss. Neytiri was a bit breathless when it ended, and the tsahik-necklace she wore reminded her why she could not dally with him as she yearned to do. "I must say the blessing, they are expecting me. I cannot stay." Jake's voice was low, intimate and promising "I wanted to make sure that you will come back as soon as possible, and not let Har'ikan drag you into a hunting conversation for hours after the blessing is done." She laughed merrily; the new hunter was wont to do exactly that, as she well knew. She smiled as she looked lovingly into Jake's beautiful golden eyes "Be at our place where the fan lizards nest, and I will come to you there as soon as I can." The tone of her voice mirrored his. He kissed her again, briefly, and then ran off calling his ikran. She was admiring his profile as the dream faded.

When Neytiri awoke, it was full night. Her eyes took in the beautiful glow of all the phosphorescent plants around her. Motion caught her attention; the branches of _utral aymokria_ above her waved gently. Tears of joy spilled from her eyes as she recalled the tsahaylu-dream, saw the branches waving a blessing, and knew that Eywa approved of this mating. She raised one arm before her and got an immediate confirmation. Sure enough, several of the delicate lines of tiny phosphorescent spots along her body had rearranged themselves. She knew that the shifted lines would match those on Jake's body; several lines on his body would have shifted to match hers. Eywa had blessed them and bonded them to each other. Any Na'vi who saw the two standing together would instantly know that they were a mated pair. She closed her eyes and breathed a joyous prayer of gratitude while she waited for her new mate to awaken.


End file.
